In Top Stories...

Lurgan security threat foiled (read more...)

Not dissidents, but they have a map.

In Economy...

Recession Watch: Local yobs switch from Buckfast to Mundies (read more...)

1990's Buckfast Advertisement, when the drink was marketed for it's sex appeal.

In Politics...

Executive Confusion: Peter Robinson accidentally signs Martin McGuinness' rejection of DUP proposal, no one notices (read more...)

First Minister Peter Robinson, "whoops".

In Top Stories...

Nolan Show bombarded by calls about something being a 'disgrace' (read more...)

A Nolan Show operator contemplates suicide.

Issue 1- The Shakey First Edition

HEADLINES

-TRAFFIC WATCH: Heavy traffic expected on M1 after Lurgan's weekly security alert on Monday.

-ECONOMY: Petition for Northern Ireland to be considered special case due to limp.

-WORLD NEWS: Stockholm just an 'alright' place to live.

-RELIGION: East Belfast versus West- God can't decide, leaves choice to Odin.

-SPORT: New Extreme sport announced- Pass The Parcel In A Belfast Pub.